I hate that I Loved you so ...

               It's been exactly 15 days now since we officially/finally called it off. It's been the hardest and loneliest 15 days of my life since I met you. Yeah! Laugh now! The strong woman you used to know had 15 weakest days of her life because of you! Those were the most miserable days of my life well not to mention those times when we're together because they're also miserable but I love how to feel miserable with you and it's not the case this time. Well, I'm not going to post here just to flatter you of how miserable my life was since we part ways. Well, you might somehow feel flattered because the following things I'm going to reveal are those crazy things I did when there were still "us". Things that I did just to profess my love for you. eew! Well, there will be some things that I'll be keeping to myself just to save myself from total humiliation and after all, I still have the word "privacy" in my vocabulary.

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It all ends here .

          Taray ng title! Parang Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows lang! Anyway, I know it's quite funny to read this post. Sino ba naman ang di matatawa eh just last Oct. 30 parang puro kilig yung pinagsasabi ko. I didn't know ako nlang pla yung nkakaramdam ng ganun. Dito ko na gustong tapusin lahat tutal wala naman na pala tlagang ppntahan yung pinagpapaguran kong magwork na relasyon eh. Dito ko nalang ilalahad ng nararamdaman ko kasi alam kong wala namang makakabasa. Sya? Hndi nya to mababasa noh! Mabasa nya man, he won't even bother to care 'cause he's very busy with his life now. Masayang masaya na yun kasi nag-eenjoy sya sa pag-inom from dusk 'til dawn. Makakapagdota na sya ng wantusawa! At higit sa lahat, makakahanap na sya ng iba. I'm hurting, why wouldn't I? Tinatanong pa ba yun? Mahal na mahal ko kaya yung mokong na yun! Kagaya nga ng sinabi ko sa mga previous posts ko, sobrang dami ko ng sakripisyo para sa taong yun! Pinaglaban ko sya sa lahat! Pinili ko sya kahit alam kong mahihirapan ako sa magiging buhay ko sa kanya. I never claim to be a perfect girlfriend, no one is! Pero alam ko sa sarili ko na ginawa ko lahat, better yet binigay ko lahat to satisfy his needs even his wants. OO teh! Minsan parang pakiramdam ko nga ang bata ko namang sugar mommy. SYET! Ganun tlaga kapag nagmamahal ka teh! Kahit hindi mo na tlaga kaya pinipilit mo pa rin yung sarili mo na baka pwede pa... na baka this time pwedeng mag-work pa kaso dumating na ko sa point ng sukdulan. I was mad... really mad! But I realized, I will never be able to move on kung may mararamdaman pa rin ako towards him, yup, kasama yung galit jan. I forgive him for what he did wrong but I will never ever forget that he did it to me.