No to Housewife ! Yes to Househusband !

As lyricist Prasoon Joshi (2009) says, “The bottom line is that if the relationship is important enough to both partners, the couple will make an effort to work the marriage, No matter who is the breadwinner in the marriage.”

In the traditional time the father is the head of the famiy and also the provider and the role model for the children. But now a days the husband and wife change role the mother being the provider and the father work in the house. Househusbands are the male counterpart of housewives, househusbands often do the house chores such as cooking, cleaning the house, taking care of the children while the wife is the one who works and earn the money for the family. Here in the Philippines is not quite acceptable for the man to talk to his friends that he is the one who is in the house and taking care of his children and his partner is going to work to earn money for the family. But as the times goes by it was acceptable because of the indemand working of Filipina women working abroad the partner decided that the wife will work and the husband will stay in the house because of the big income that they will get. Recent data show that 37 percent of the women workers are married while 7 percent are either widowed or divorced/separated. A non-government organization called KAKAMMPI (Kapisanan ng mga Kamaganak ng Migrenteng Manggagawang Pilipino,Inc) estimates that about 5.85 million or 23 percent of all children and adolescents (17 years old and below) have at least a parent overseas.



Raymundo cited the following general conditions as roots of role reversal:
Filipino women are more highly educated than Filipino men
Economic downfalls resulting to high unemployment and underemployment rate
Displeasure of men to do informal jobs like pagtitinda (selling),paglalaba (washingclothes),pagpaplantsa (pressing clothes), etc.
Agreement that the current arrangement is just temporary


The fathers become closer to their children when they grow older, Children who spent an extensive amount of time with them are better to endure stress and adapted more readily to new situation. It is said that when fathers spend more time with their children, they develop a “nurturant relationship” rather than “pals” interaction that is mostly evident in father-son relationships. On the other hand, even when the father is not around, his children still consider him a very special person.


Being a househusband does not deal much on their ego; it is more on how they play the role of being a househusband while their wives are working for their family.

What parenting type do househusband fathers apply to their children.

There are three parenting types and each has a different effect on their children:

1. Authoritarian: These parents valued obedience and believed in restricting the child’s freedom. They don’t let their children answer them during conversations and arguments but expected them to do what they dictated.


2. Authoritative: These parents directed their children firmly and rationally. They usually set standards but they also listened to their children’s views and opinions. Children of this type can enjoy a little amount of independence and can decide on their own.


3. Permissive: These parents are usually acting as guardians at the same time letting their children fulfill their potentials on their own.

Actor Shiney Ahuja (2009) feels that “the new age marriage is the reason behind this trend.” Society may not be so kind to men who is not the provider of the family because they are the one meant to earn money and provide all the needs of his family and the women is the one to take care of their kids and home.

As stated by Castro et. al. (2006) househusband can experience psychological problems or shortcomings because the loss of his financial power can affect his self-respect. Positive coping mechanism is needed for him to avoid damage in the husband-wife relationship. “In the focus interview, the househusbands did not elaborate the psychological impact of role reversal. They were silent when asked about their coping mechanisms. They hinted that coping mechanisms were a non-issue because they perceived no detriments in the reversed roles. Neither pressure nor ostracism from relatives and friends has come about, hence, they did not figure out any coping mechanism.”

On the positive, women started to take on other roles outside the typical traditional role of housewife. Women develop their emotional skills especially on how to deal with the challenges and demands. On the negative side, children whose mothers are migrated are suffering emotionally and psychologically.

Even though role reversal has negative effects on them it does not give them much problem on communicating their needs to their wives because sometimes the wife voluntarily gives them what they need. Somehow that makes it easier for them to accept the situation. The switch role of husband and wife give the relationship much closer because they know what is their role, the family who had this kind of situation had a close family bonding.

Sources:

Pingol, 2001; Marcia Laswell and Thomas Laswell‘s (1989) 

Marriage and The Fanily book; Castro et. al. (2006); 

The Impact of Children and Families of Mothers Migrating for Work Abroad; (as cited in Castro et. al., 2006).”